Or "How I learned to stop worrying and love the chaos."
You'd think that, being a freshman in college, I'd be "living it up," as the saying goes. Or, at the very least, making new friends and dating and going out on the weekends and other things that come with moving and starting over. Instead, however, I have been lazing about... doing no homework... making no friends... spending my free time on the internet and feeding off of my long-lived self-loathing and frustration. And so, where my friends who have gone to school this past semester have done something with themselves, the most I can say is that I didn't hurt myself. And that is my greatest accomplishment of the last four months.
Now, I know it looks as though I am searching for pity. On the contrary, however, I am really only trying to share how I have learned that laying around feeling sorry for myself does me no good. This is a simple realization that probably came ten years too late, and I am not sure that it will prompt any immediate change. Nevertheless, I have made the all-important decision to practice what I preach, to get off my tush and do something with myself.
You see, when I left home, instead of seeing my new independence as a liberating opportunity, I saw it as a road-block, and suddenly, I didn't know who I was anymore. I'd always had a niche to fill. I'd always had an identity, one that had been formed by those who knew me. But, consequently, I had no idea how to create my own identity. So I struggled, naturally. And I'm still not entirely sure how. I have learned, however, that it doesn't really matter. I have plenty of time. And I will learn who I am through my experiences. This does not mean that I have to ostracize myself from humanity at large. This does not mean that I have to hide myself from people that I could eventually make relationships with. And while my life will not get any easier, it will become infinitely more meaningful.
Relevance Score - 0%
Coherence Score - -2%
